Oscar Grant mural. Copy: Guardian UK

Oakland Mayor Jean Quan, who you’d imagine would have a handle on the characteristics, definitions, and desires of the Occupy movement because of the huge Occupy actions that have taken place in her city, still doesn’t understand what’s going on –or she understands and is merely bleating a platitude to quell reporters questions. In a recent interview she said she was going to “call some of the national leadership of Occupy this week,” and let them know that Occupy Oakland was “not nonviolent.”

(I’m not making that up, she said, “not nonviolent.”)

More Quan lunacy after the jump!

Continuing with the interview, she expounded on Occupy Oakland’s actions by saying, “What they are doing against the city economically is not nonviolent either. Every Saturday they are doing demonstrations and in my city that is my night of highest police need. They are taking away resources from my city …”

I’m not even going to get into the surreal-absurdist concept of “economic not nonviolence” because I’m afraid my eyes would explode out of my head and I’d grow a donkey tail while trying to understand it. What I’d rather point you toward is her pending phone call with Occupy “national leadership.” You know, the national leaders. What’re their names? Well, apparently Jean knows and she’s going to get ‘em on the blower this week to convince them to condemn their Oakland Chapter for being “not nonviolent.”

In another interview, Quan blames Occupy (natch), the media, Occupy’s own media, racism, and misogyny for police clashes in her city. In short, everything and everyone is to blame except her and the police. (Pssst! Mayor Quan, if you bump your shoulder into ten people in one day, it’s not their fault.)

Let’s recap. This week a federal judge threatend Mayor Quan and the Oakland Police that they might face a federal takeover of their force because of previous corruptions, beatings, framings, brutality, and Mayor Quan’s slow adoption of needed reform. And no other city in the country has had the scale of riots that Oakland has seen in the past six months.

Now, what seems to be the problem? Occupy and the media (certainly not the Oakland police and Mayor Quan herself.) What’s the solution? Call the national leaders of course! What will they talk about? Occupy Oakland’s not nonviolence, including economic not nonviolence!

The situation would be far less ridiculous and wacky if Mayor Quan simply held a press conference in which she informed us all that she’d be focusing her efforts on her one true passion: unicorn racing.