No seriously, place wieners here, please.

Tony Perkins, radical Islamist Christlamist, creates hilarious non-story involving a Star Wars game and gay people. Perkins, repressed homosexual Christian right-winger, has been dreaming up gay Star Wars puns and sitting on them (ahem!), waiting for the right time to spring them on his audience of a dozen old people who somehow manage to find his “broad”cast. And he finally got his chance! Bioware, maker of a new online Star Wars game, is planning to allow its members freedom to be in same-sex relationships. That’s “planning,” as in, some release down the road in the future, but not now. Just the possibility of it stiffened Perkins’ tits right up and sent him running for his gay pun dictionary. In his radio address, he mixes in a quip about a galaxy “not so far far away,” (hyuck!) and warns of the game players who have already “gone to the dark side” (guffaw out fucking loud, gofl!). Perkins warns parents that their kids will be “Star Warped,” and that they should “show companies who the Force is really with!” Perkins, stop drilling because you, sir, have struck gold! Get this man to Saturday Night Live, I’ve got an abortionist/Blade Runner skit I want him to look at.